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Worst Pokemon ever | news.com.au — Australia’s leading news site

There are tons of gorgeously designed Pokemon, but in this list we look at the very worst ones.

The world of Pokemon is amazing. An electric rodent? Inspired. A turtle that can use water as an attack? Lovely. A fire salamander? Great. A dinosaur with a plant bulb lodged in its back? Uh, okay, maybe it’s not all incredible.

There are at least 100 Pokemon we think are incredibly designed and definitively iconic in 2022, but there are also a lot of stinkers. In this list we’re running through just ten of the very worst Pokemon ever designed, and believe us, it can get pretty bad.

Paras

Is Paras the worst Pokemon of all time? It feels wrong to say something so harsh about a creature from the very first – and best – Pokemon generation, but Paras has never had anything to love, unfortunately.

It’s an ugly creature, it has terrible stats, and is incredibly common… It just sucks. Sorry Paras, you’re useless. This entry may have been influenced by how annoying the creature is in Pokemon Legends: Arceus, but the point still stands.

Bruxish

There’s something about Bruxish that reminds us of your aunt drunk at a family gathering, trying to give you a big kiss on the cheek – and nothing you can do will help you to escape. Bruxish’s lips, teeth, shape, and indeed, vibe, are all wrong. They offend me spiritually. We wouldn’t even catch it for Pokédex completion.

woobat

Did anyone love Zubat? Most Generation 1 players certainly didn’t thanks to how commonly it would accost you in a cave. So how did Game Freak decide to outdo that creature? Another bat with a name that sounds almost exactly the same. Incredible.

Worse yet, Woobat doesn’t even have a cool evolution like Zubat does. Crobat looks awesome, but Swoobat? Disgusting, even if it has a heart-shaped nose. Woobat and Swoobat are the worst bat Pokemon yet.

Palpitoad

We’ve all had awkward teenage phases, but Palpitoad takes the cake. Palpitoad sits between Tympole and Seismitoad, but while those two creatures are pretty cool, Palpitoad is… yikes. This creature has legs, but now arms, disgusting growths protruding from its head, and a stupid smirk that frankly angers us.

This looks like a deconstruction of Poliwag, only hideous. No thanks.

Swalot

In fairness, we can at least see what they were attempting here. Swalot is a big pile of poison, like Muk, but cute, with catfish-like whiskers. The problem is, it’s not cute, and we can only begin to imagine what the thing smells like. Only a notch below the living pile of trash that is Garbodor on the poison Pokemon rankings, though.

Pidove

This is a pigeon. We’re not sure what else to say, honestly. This is a pigeon. Like, just an ordinary pigeon, really, the kind that tries to steal your chips and ice cream while you’re at the park.

Somehow, this is a step down from Pidgey, and we weren’t sure that was really possible. Sure, you can argue Pidove is not an abomination, which is certainly a plus, but if you’re training mystical creatures – some of which are revered as gods – then strolling around with a pigeon is going to feel a bit underwhelming.

Cryogonal

We can and will mock a simple pigeon or a pile of sludge entering the Pokédex, but there’s something far worse about a giant snowflake – and we don’t mean that in the hyperbolic online sense, it’s literally a big icy crystal.

Having said that, perhaps being called a Cryogonal is a far worse insult if you’re feeling sensitive on social media. Snowflakes are, at least, beautiful. Cryogonal is… well, it exists.

Vanilluxe

This is an ice cream. Yeah, Cryogonal has competition for the title of worst Ice-type. Luckily it is, at least, a deluxe ice cream, with that double ice cream swirl on top. The problem is that it’s very ridiculous.

It even has two stupid smiling faces staring from both dollops of delicious ice cream. It might look tasty, but there’s something utterly foul lurking behind this cone’s eyes. Probably coffee flavour.

Klinklang

Once upon a time, we would’ve argued that the likes of Voltorb and Magnemite were ridiculous designs. Now we’re leaning towards the “iconic simplicity” angle. Klinklang is neither simple nor iconic, and it is entirely disappointing. Like Magnemite, this is a bunch of gears with eyes, swirling in place together.

But those gears do nothing. It’s as useful as a GOOGOL:1 reduction gear machine – search online if you want to know exactly how useful that is, but for those who are feeling lazy: it’s not useful, in the slightest, only good to be used as an example. In this case, it’s an example of a useless Pokemon.

sawk

This is basically a person. Hitmonchan is a bit strange, right, but Sawk? It’s a dude in a little karate gi. For all I know this could be a dude in a costume. And I’m supposed to have this thing in my team? No.

Written by Cian Maher and Dave Aubrey on behalf of GLHF.

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